Let’s Talk Realism

Let’s talk about realism.  For starters, I have never been one to assume.  I believe that operating in realism involves understanding what you see versus what you wish something to be.  It is about accepting a situation for what it is, unless and until you are told otherwise.

For example, someone may like me, and to ‘show’ me that they like me, they may flirt, give compliments, and so on.  I may briefly assume or wonder if they like me, but I am not going to adamantly proclaim that they do, unless and until they speak up and say something. 

Years ago, a guy I knew used to flirt with me all the time and give me compliments, which I always responded to with a thank you.  That was it.  Nothing more and nothing less.  One day he asked me if I could tell that he liked me.  I told him that I make no assumptions about stuff like that because I know people that have done that only to have their feelings hurt.

Many people assumed that someone liked them only to find out that the person did not like them in the way that they thought.  Some even went as far as to think that they were in a relationship with someone else, even though the other person never acknowledged this.  They simply made that assumption based on the other person’s behavior.  I went on to say that I deal in realism, and unless and until someone speaks up, I do not look any further into it.

As a Gen X’er (I know, I know.  I’m ancient to some of you.) I remember back in the day when someone liked you and they passed a note to you that read “will you go with me?  Yes, no, or maybe?  That was realism in the making.  You knew.  A question was asked and answered.  Now of course other questions must come with that too, but the point is, I’m not going to assume anything and will only deal with realism once it is talked about, and a decision is made that we have agreed on. 

Perhaps it is about protecting myself, especially my heart and my feelings, but ultimately, I try not to set out any assumptions about someone simply because they are nice to me or perhaps flirting with me.  You need to speak up and say what is on your mind.