Expectations

Hey there you beautiful, awesome, magical being!  I hope that you are having an amazing day, an amazing week, and an amazing month!  I am here to spread some positivity, joy and inspiration.  Let’s talk about expectations.

A lot of people allow society to put expectations on them such as you must be a homeowner by a certain age, you must have a car by a certain age, be married by a certain age, have started a family by a certain age and on and on.  This puts unnecessary stress on you, by thinking that you must accomplish certain things within specific time frames or windows. Unfortunately, this allows negativity to creep in by either you or others when you have not accomplished certain things based on when society said you should have. 

When I was in law school, I was the oldest student in most of my classes.  There were a few that were older than me in the part-time program, but I attended full-time.  I started law school right before I turned 31, when most of my classmates went directly from college, or took a year or two off at most between their college graduation and attending law school, so many of them were still in their early twenties. 

Many of my friends by that age were having children, getting engaged, buying homes, and so on. However, if I compared myself to them and wondered why that wasn’t me, I would have caused my own stress.  Admittedly however, when I was a teenager, I put these “age” expectations on myself.  For example, I always pictured being married by 28, and having 2-3 children by the time I was 33.  Neither happened.  It could have considering I was engaged around that age, but ultimately I called my wedding off, since I felt deep down that he was not the man for me.  No hard feelings, and I still to this day wish him nothing but happiness, love and joy, but this taught me a valuable lesson.  I was going by societal “numbers” of when certain things should be accomplished. 

We need to remember that we should create our own path and not what society dictates, considering there is really no such thing as a set path.  We tend to cause our own stress and depression by thinking that we need to be this by that age or do this, by this date, or be in a certain place by a certain time.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Continue doing you and living life at your pace. 

I am now in my forties, and I have never been married, and do not have any children.  Would I like to be married and have a child or two, absolutely, and if it is meant to happen, I have no doubt that it will.  In fact, I remain confident that it will.  It just did not happen by a certain time.  Do not allow others to tell you where you should be or question why you are not in a certain place by a certain time.  Tell them that you are running your own race, and perhaps they should just concentrate on running their own.