Self-Reflection: Lessons Learned

With every new year that comes and goes, I often reflect on what I have learned, think about what I could have done differently in various situations, how I can improve myself physically, financially, and mentally, and so on.  Reflection is important because as part of any learning process, it truly helps us to gain insight into our own behavior, including our strengths and weaknesses, in order to use these experiences to enhance our lives. 

I was recently thinking about all that I have accomplished, and even more so, what I have not yet accomplished, and really needed to ask myself why.  I took a look over the past five years to put together all of the lessons that I have learned, to create a better reality for myself over the next five years and beyond.  It is important to note that although I did not achieve some things that I set out to do, in retrospect, I cannot blame anyone but myself.  In true reflection, most of it was my own procrastination and unfounded fear.  Fear of fully walking into my greatness with my head held high.  So here are a few of the many lessons that I have learned over the past five years.

The first lesson that I learned was about the detriment of comparison.  While we all know that we should not compare ourselves to others, this point was really driven home once I started my spiritual journey, which I talk more about in my article entitled “Spiritual Journey,” which you can read by clicking here. 

I often found myself comparing myself to others around my age and wondering why I had not accomplished certain things by that same age.  But I had to learn that life is about being the best version of YOU.  Energy and efforts should go towards upgrading you instead of worrying about what others are doing, what they have, and so on.  You are not meant to have the same journey as anyone else, so comparing yourself to others is a destructive art. 

Another lesson that I learned was that time is of the essence, and it is a must that I pursue my passion now.  I do not want to have a life of regrets, wondering what if, or what could have been.  I have learned that pursuing your passion can open you up to new opportunities and bring a sense of fulfillment to your life.  Not only can it be a very rewarding experience, but it can also bring about true happiness. 

I have also learned that vulnerability is what I will call a necessary evil.  Not evil in the sense of we should not do it, but simply because many people freeze at the thought of being vulnerable.  My stomach use to churn at the thought, sending my mind into a tailspin of unsurety and doubt.  But having a passion for writing, and all things creative, I had to get out there and be vulnerable.  I had to be vulnerable to the good, the bad, and ugly that could potentially come along when you decide to share your talent with the world.  But I had to realize that even if some do not like the work that I produce, many others would love it.  Not allowing myself to be vulnerable was simply allowing my fear to take over my life, and fear can be crippling. 

Lastly, I learned to always set boundaries.  I always thought that I was good at doing that, but upon reflection, I noticed that I often allowed people to get away with more than I should have.  Texting me every so often simply to keep me in their lives somehow.  Not always saying no, even when I wanted to.  I learned that the boundaries that I was setting, were not only not enough, but that I did not always stick to them.  Therefore, I made it a point to set stronger boundaries and ensure that no matter what, I stuck to them, because we teach others how to treat us in what we will or will not tolerate. 

So, these are just a few of the many lessons that I have learned over the past five years and beyond.  Overall, I have become more confident, bold, and resilient.  I am more conscious of my decisions and more determined than ever to truly create my own reality and the life that I want.  I have been on a personal journey of growth, connection, and self-discovery.

Ultimately, we continue to learn and grow every day.  Life is about being the best version of you; being a better version of yourself today than you were yesterday, and being better tomorrow, than you were today.  As you reflect on your own life over the past one, three, or even five years, what are some lessons that you have learned?  What will you do differently in the future?