How Is That Helpful?

Can we all agree on something?  Let’s agree to stop providing unhelpful comments to people that are going through something.  Can we agree to that?  I have noticed that when some people speak about something that may have happened or that they are going through, while many comments are positive and uplifting, some of them are downright unhelpful and unnecessary.  Why are some people like this?

Recently, a woman I know posted on social media that her car was hit from behind on the highway, and asked that people pray for her which is normal.  Most people responded positively, offering words of encouragement, stating that they were glad she was alright, that they were sorry to hear what happened, would keep her in their prayers, and so on.  However, as I continued scrolling through the comments, one in particular stood out to me.  It read “Wait until next week.  You are really going to be sore.”

Please explain to me how this is helpful?  Obviously, anytime your body takes a hit, especially one that is unexpected, you will likely have some aches and pains in the days or possibly weeks to follow, depending on the severity.  But again, how does stating this help anyone in their current situation?

This reminded me of when some people do this to mothers.  Over the years, I have seen various postings where a mother would post about how tired she was after running behind her active toddler all day.  Anyone who has seen a toddler in action can empathize.  However, much to my dismay, I would inevitably see that comment that would read something to the effect of “you don’t know what tired is…imagine if you had two or three children.”  Really? 

The mother simply posted about HER day and how tired SHE was from running after her baby.  That is not to negate any other mother’s tiredness.  I have personally experienced such comments in the past where I would post about having a super long and exhausting day and how happy I was to be home.  I remember someone saying to me how I didn’t know what being tired truly was since I do not have any children yet.  This sentiment is annoying and exhausting.

If you do not have anything helpful to say, perhaps it is best to not say anything at all.  We really need to take a step back and look at and realize some of the unhelpful things that we say to people at times.  This is not to say that I have never done this, but I will say that throughout the years, I have become more conscious of what I say.  This often times requires that we simply not speak right away but instead take a step back to ask ourselves if what we are going to say is helpful or positive.  Let’s try to be more cognizant of our words or simply not say anything at all.