Jealousy and Envy

Ahhh, that green eyed monster called jealousy.  It’s everywhere.  People are sometimes jealous of us, and if we are honest with ourselves, we can sometimes be jealous of other people. 

In my blog article entitled “The Destructive Art of Comparison,” I discuss how far too often we get caught up in the lives of others, instead of reflecting on what has transpired in our own lives, oftentimes forgetting just how far we have come.  Click here to check out that article.  We tend to compare ourselves especially to those similar in age and wonder why we may not have accomplished as much as they have. 

While it is admirable to want to improve and keep moving forward to create the life that you want and desire, we must remember to take inventory of our own lives to see just how far we have come, and to give ourselves a pat on the back.  When we compare ourselves to others it can often lead to feelings of unhappiness and jealousy.  We start to envy them, and the life they are living.  Jealousy can cause us to act out in ways that are counter-productive, and when this happens, we must again reframe our thinking to focus on the things that we have, rather than the things that we have yet to obtain.

Understandably however, it can be difficult to not feel jealous of others, especially when they have something that we want or feel we deserve.  We must always remember that everyone has their own unique journey, and we should feel inspired by others without feeling jealous. There will always be someone, somewhere that has more than you; more money, a bigger home, a more expensive vehicle, and more.  And that is ok. 

Just as we can be jealous of others, people can also be jealous of us.  Back in college I had a writing professor who was disgruntled to say the least.  His career in journalism, specifically in magazine article writing had not taken off as he had hoped, and he told us about it every chance he got.  He was angry that writers whom he thought did not write anywhere near as well as he did, were getting freelance gigs or were employed directly by the magazine.  I did fairly well in his class, although at times I thought that he was hyper-critical. 

I did so well that I decided to ask for a letter of recommendation from him for a program I was considering applying too, which he agreed.  However, I ultimately decided not to apply for the program, so I opened his sealed letter (All recommendations needed to be sealed per program requirements and included with our application materials) before discarding it, and I was shocked at what he wrote.  Not only did he say that he would not recommend me for the program, but that my writing was sub-par, and even if I was admitted to the program, he did not see me doing well. Keep in mind that he told me that he would be happy to write me a letter of recommendation and thought that I would be a great candidate for the program.

I thought that this was absurd considering that on all of my assignments in his class, I had received all A’s and one B, yet according to him, my writing was “subpar.”  That did not match whatsoever.  I discussed this with another student, and she stated that he seemed to be jealous of his students for his lack of advancement in his career and was taking it out on us.  I was happy when the semester ended, although, minus the professor, I really enjoyed the class. 

Needless to say, sometimes, we have to be careful of people being jealous of us.  Jealousy is not a great trait to have.  Jealousy sometimes comes from people that are very close to you, or those that smile in your face.  Be mindful and be careful.