Minimizing the Experiences of Others

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone attempts to minimize the experience of others, simply based on their own experience.  As an example, let’s look at surgical and other procedures. 

Doctors perform various surgeries and procedures around the world daily, and often times, many people have had the same type of surgery or procedure.  For example, most of us at some point in our lives have had some kind of dental work be it a cavity filled, a root canal or so on.  Many women around the world give birth every day.  However, it is important to note that no two people are the same.

As I scroll through social media, or even simply being out in the world, I am dismayed when I hear others say things such as “I’ve had that procedure and it is not that bad.  The pain was minimal and other people are just exaggerating.  They are so extra.”  Ummmm…excuse me?  Let’s be clear shall we.  It wasn’t that bad for YOU.  However, you do not get to minimize what someone else has experienced or the pain that they went through.  Just be grateful that the procedure was not bad for you.

Every person on this earth is different and everyone’s body responds to pain in different ways.  We all experience both pleasure and pain in a multitude of ways.  We must also keep in mind that some people may have underlying issues that cause them to potentially experience more pain during or after a procedure than you or cause them to have a longer recovery period. 

Even some doctors are guilty of thinking that all of their patients are cookie cutter versions of other patients and some even go as far as ignoring their patients who are communicating that they are in extreme pain or that something does not feel right.  Based on either their own experience or the experience of their other patients, some doctors will assume that this patient is just exaggerating or being extra.  That is why it is so important that we be our own advocates for our health.  It is quite disheartening when people make such comments, and even more so when those meant to help us, treat us like all other patients, rather than understanding that no two people are the same. 

We must be mindful of the experiences of others and to always be respectful of their feelings.  While we may experience things differently, we need to strive to be more understanding and tolerant.  But ultimately, you do not get to minimize someone else’s experience with whatever, simply because that wasn’t your experience.