Stop the Victim Mentality
So, let me get this straight. You honestly thought that you could get in someone’s face, proceed to tell them off, while waving your hand in their face, and then play the victim when they reacted to you? Let’s stop playing the victim to the very situations that we created.
Oftentimes, people create and instigate certain situations, bringing about chaos, drama, and negativity, but then play victim when the other person reacts to their behavior. It is important to remember that for every action, there is an equal or opposite reaction. You cannot be upset when you get the same energy returned to you that you put out.
We see this play out often on social media thanks to camera phones, where we see someone get in another person’s face, even though the other person may be trying to deescalate a situation by ignoring said person or trying to walk away. For example, I recently saw a video posted on social media that took place at what appeared to be a high school or college sporting event, and although I do not know the backstory of what led to what happened, from the clip I watched, a young woman kept insisting on getting in another woman’s face.
The other women tried to ignore her while she was on the phone, and even turned the other way. The aggressor (for purposes on this article we will call her such although again, I do not know the entire story) then walked around the woman, stood directly in front of her, while yelling and pointing her finger in her face. As a reaction to this, the woman shoved her to get her out of her face, and she fell backwards down the bleachers. Not surprisingly, when she stood up, she was very angry, and tried to hit the woman that shoved her, before being grabbed by another woman who tried to calm her down.
As a disclaimer, I am in no way advocating violence, but at some point, enough is enough. Let’s be honest. This woman ignored the other woman, even turning the other way, so at some point she did what she felt necessary to get this woman out of her face. You can only poke a bear so many times before it will attack you.
We also see this played out with some people who continuously agitate others, questioning their very existence and why they are in certain places, who we call “Karens,” and who can be men or women. Not only do these people try to police others and dictate what they can do and where they can go, sometimes, they become down right indignant, getting in the person’s face, yelling, cursing, and so on. And we have seen this play out time and again where the other person would tell the “Karen” to mind their business and to go about their day, yet they insisted on getting in the persons face and being extremely aggressive. But when the person matches that same energy, they want to contact the police and play victim because of the persons response or reaction to them.
However, here’s my issue. Tell the entire story. Why did this person react to you the way they did? Tell how this person gave you warning after warning asking you to stop doing what you were doing. Tell how this person told you multiple times to get out of their face, and even tried to walk away yet you continued provoking by touching or coming close to touching them.
Ultimately, we all need to take accountability for our actions. You cannot become upset or claim a “whoa is me” attitude or a victim mentality from circumstances that you created. You must live with the consequences of those circumstances. When we start taking accountability and responsibility for what we do, it at least allows us to take heed in the future for what we do and what we put out there. You do not get to determine how other people react to your drama, chaos, and negativity.
