Conditional Love?

Imagine you are married, or seriously dating someone.  You are in love, respect one another, have great communication even when you disagree, and overall, it’s a great relationship.  Or so you thought.  Many of us have heard the saying that you truly do not know a person until hard times fall upon you. 

Think about back in the day music artist MC Hammer.  I know.  I know.  Some of you reading this are like “who is that?”  At the height of his career, he had so many “friends” and people that “loved” him, and would travel around with him, at his expense of course, and live the life.  However, once he started losing money and became broke at one point, none of those so-called friends could be found. 

But when in a relationship, you would think that your partner, who you believe truly loves you, would be there for you in both good and bad times.  You could not imagine them simply leaving you because you got sick, you are depressed, or because you lost your job.  However, I recently came across a post on TikTok talking about the “bad” and how this woman left her husband when he lost his job.

So, a TikTok poster relayed how she has always been taken care of in relationships.  She mentioned that she told her husband how every man she had ever been with had taken care of her and how she expected him to do the same.  Her mentality was that her money was her money, but his money was their money.  I guess he was fine with that considering he married her knowing this information.  But I’m sure he didn’t think that she would leave him if he lost his job.

As you guessed it, at some point, he lost his job.  After a month, he still had not found a new position, but the bills became due and he wanted her to pay them.  She then asked him if he would pay her back, and he was taken aback at the request.  She noted that he said to her, why would I pay back my wife for paying our bills, but her mentality was again, that regardless, as the man, it was his responsibility to take care of her. 

This eventually culminated in her leaving him, and going to a friend of his to vent, whom she ended up sleeping with, which is another issue in and of itself.  Ultimately, she does not think that she was wrong in leaving her husband.  Her thought was that in a month’s time, even if he did not have a permanent position, there are multiple ways to make money and that he should have been hustling harder to ensure that things remain as they were with him paying for everything.

While there is nothing wrong with having boundaries in a relationship and non-negotiables such as abuse, disloyalty, and so on, some conditions such as if they fall on hard times, should not be a reason to leave someone.  Unfortunately, however, when hard times roll around, some people will bail out on their partner.

I’m curious to know what your thoughts are with this?  Would you leave your spouse because they lost their job?  Do you think this woman went too far?  For me, I believe that we need to exhibit the same love and compassion that we would expect from our partner or spouse if we were in the same situation.  Unfortunately, today, it seems that “love” comes with conditions for some people.