Sometimes It’s You
Have you ever met someone who constantly complains about everyone, whether they be exes, friends or ex-friends, co-workers, or just people in general, associates, and as they are telling the story, you can clearly see that they are the problem? In their mind however, it is everyone else, and they simply refuse to accept any responsibility or accountability on their part. They act as if they can do no wrong, and it is always everyone else.
At some point, we all need to take accountability and take a good look in the mirror as this shows maturity and growth. Being accountable means taking responsibility for one’s actions and decisions. Sometimes it is you. Sometimes it is me. It is not always the other person regardless of how much we may try to spin the narrative.
Accountability is a trait that is highly valued in both personal and professional relationships because it demonstrates reliability and trustworthiness. For example, when someone takes accountability and acknowledges that they were wrong, even if I do not like what they said or did, I cannot help but at least have respect for them, in taking said accountability. Sometimes, people cannot take accountability because their ego gets in the way.
A person with an inflated ego or sense of self cannot even fathom that they could be the problem. It is always everyone else. This sounds extremely narcissistic, and is not a good trait to have. Take some politician for example, and notice I said some, because this is certainly not all. Some politicians would never admit defeat to being wrong about something. They constantly seek validation for their point even if their point is wrong. Ten out of ten people could tell them that they are wrong, but to them, those ten people are wrong.
For those that insist that everyone else is always the problem, it never occurs to them that they are the common denominator in their stories. When you ask them if they have ever considered that they could be the problem, they look at you as if you just insulted their mother. They have never imagined that they could be the problem. Of course sometimes it is other people that are in fact the problem, but at some point, we have to take a step back and really analyze things. However, requires them looking in the mirror and perhaps do some shadow work, and most people do not like to do that.
Shadow work is a term used to describe the process of exploring and working with the parts of ourselves that we often try to hide or ignore. These parts of ourselves are often referred to as our "shadow," and they can include aspects of our personality, experiences, and emotions that we find uncomfortable or unacceptable. Perhaps there is a reason that you cannot take accountability. The goal of shadow work is to bring these hidden parts of ourselves to light so that we can understand them. It can be challenging, and upsetting, and maybe even downright uncomfortable.
The benefits of doing this work can be amazing and help us to break free from patterns of behavior that are holding us back or stopping us from growing and cultivating more fulfilling relationships and experiences in our lives. It truly can be a powerful tool for personal growth and self-discovery. Just realize that sometimes it is you and take accountability. Then do the necessary work on yourself.
