Unannounced Visits?

I do not do pop-ups.  Let me repeat.  I do not do pop-ups.  I think that it is so inconsiderate to just pop up at someone’s residence for a visit unannounced.  While some people do not mind, I do mind, and I know that I am not alone in feeling this way.  Although some people have no problem with this, ultimately, we have to understand and respect one another’s feelings and boundaries when it comes to certain things, whether or not we agree.

Some people feel that family and friends should be able to just pop-up anytime they want and with this I wholeheartedly disagree.  Perhaps I just want to spend the day alone, pampering myself, eating snacks, watching movies, and so on.  Now, because you decided to show up unannounced, I have to change my plans to entertain you.  And some people have the audacity to even bring other people with them that you might not know.  That is extremely disrespectful because who are these people and how well do you know them?  Now they know where I live, and you had the audacity to think that I was going to let you, let alone them in?

As an introvert, I prefer scheduled time.  I do understand however, that there are always exceptions to any rule, if you allow it.  For example, you may be in the neighborhood and call me to ask if you can stop by, which is very respectful, and to that, I might agree.  However, if I say no, you must respect that decision, because I do not have to automatically allow you to visit simply because you happen to be in the neighborhood.

Too often we get upset at someone for not doing what we would have done, but we have to understand that everyone is different in the things that they find acceptable and would allow.  Some people have no problem with people just stopping by at random times to visit, which is fine.  But we must also respect those who do not feel the same way. 

Our home is our sanctuary and safe space, and if someone does not feel like having any visitors, especially unannounced visitors in their space at the moment, you need to respect that and understand that it is their home.  Just as you can do what you want with and in your home, so too can they, even if that means not allowing uninvited visitors.  If I’m home and hear a knock at the door, knowing I’m not expecting anyone, I will leave you outside.  Call it mean, cruel, or whatever, but that’s my boundary, and if you cannot respect that, then I don’t know what to tell you.