Relationship Business

Let’s talk relationship business.  Many times, when one has a spat or argument with their partner or significant other, he or she tends to vent to their family and friends about the issue, but ultimately make up with their partner.  Your friends or family now have a certain view of your partner based on what you told them when you were upset.

Once you start telling others about issues between you and your partner, especially when you are upset, they often become mad at your partner, and may stay this way, even after you and your partner have made up.  Thanks to you, they now have this tainted view of your partner, again, based on what you said while you were angry.

Repeat after me.  Keep your relationship business to yourself.  Relationship business really should be kept between the two (or perhaps more…hey, live your life) people that are in the relationship.  Running and telling others about issues, rather than discussing the issues with the person you are having the issues with is oftentimes counterproductive.  Perhaps you should consider involving a neutral third party such as a relationship counselor or therapist if needed to walk you through things to establish some kind of common ground. 

While your friends and family may be able to give you some good advice, they also typically come with preconceived biases already established.  Friends and family members know us, and as an example, if it is your friend that you are going to for advice, they will already have a bias towards you and your side.

When it comes to venting to someone else when you and your partner have a spat or disagreement, I myself have been guilty of this when I was younger.  For me, I am very close to my mom, and whenever a boyfriend at the time would upset me, I would tell my mom about it.  As my mom, she does not want to see me upset, and would see my side, but once I would make up with my then boyfriend(s), my mom still had a certain view about things.  Therefore, I had to learn that even as close as we still are till this day, for which I am extremely grateful, I cannot go to her with relationship issues.  Instead, they must stay between myself and the person I with, or with a neutral third party.

I believe that although a relationship should not be a secret, which is another discussion, it should however be private.  Truth be told, some of the best relationships are private.  They do not post their every move on social media, their assets, what they have going on, what they do, disagreements, and do on.  Your relationship business is your business including how you choose to run your relationship, the things that you do within your relationship, and how you proceed in your relationship.  Society should not dictate your relationship.  By the way, click here to check out my previous blog post entitled “Relationship Rules?”

Overall, keep your relationships private. It is no one’s business.  However, I must give this disclaimer. If you are being abused, please do not keep that private.  Tell your friends or family members as they may be able to assist you in getting out of that situation.  In that circumstance, it may be best to not keep that private, because that situation could potentially take a turn for the worse.